Futurama
S7E4: The Thief of Baghead
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And we want to help you.
Now, your only chance is a classic death scene.
One with a lot of "thy's" and "thou's."
Voila. The tragic end of Rome O. and Julie T.
That's Romeo and Juliet, dummy, by Will.i.am Shakespeare.
Now, here's the poison that Romeo uses to kill himself.