Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.
1.94sOh, my God, it's a miracle!
3.27sWell, I guess you replaced real butter as the star of the dinner.
1.32sBut I don't understand.
2.84sThe Army said you'd been killed in action. What happened?
3.22sWell, it's quite a story.
3.19sIn some ways, Army life in Iraq is what you'd expect,
3.27swhat with the blistering heat, the constant sense of impending danger,
3.14sand the one gay soldier awkwardly avoiding the use of pronouns.
2.4sMan, I sure miss my sweetheart back home.
2.37sI can't wait to get back to that person.
1.17sChow time, boys.
2sYes, sir, Sergeant Major General Captain!
1.8sAh, come on, boys, it's Thanksgiving.
2.72sCall me Major General Captain. Now you eat up.
1.94s
2.69sI don't trust that turkey those Iraqis made.
2.54sAh, you're all wet, Swanson. I call the white meat.
1.23sI call the dark meat.
1.6sI call the cell phone duct taped to the side!
1.4sNo!
3.17s
2.12sThey're all dead, sir, except for Swanson.
2.1sHe's in a coma, but he's unlikely to recover.
3.1sOkay, well, just send Swanson's parents a letter saying that he's dead,