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3.1sThe car alarm. "What?" You're kidding.
1.3sWell, viewers, to top it off,
2.47sthat's the Channel 5 news van you're hearing.
3.17sPhil, Phil, just open it... Unlock the doors.
2.1sYou don't have to put the key in the ignition.
2.24sWell, open the driver's side first.
1.23sOkay, well, I guess it's broken, then,
1.3sand there's nothing we can do about it.
2.5sOkay, happy Thanksgiving, Quahog. Here's a car alarm.
3.92s(SIGHS) All right, well, I guess we'll just... (ALARM STOPS) Ah! There we go.
2.57s(DOOR BELL RINGS) Oh, that must be Joe and Bonnie.
1.77sNow remember, everyone, let's be cheerful,
2s'cause Thanksgivings are very hard for them.
0.6s'Cause Joe can't walk?
1.05sNo.
2.4s'Cause his bum doesn't open up to poo anymore,
3.44sand a nurse has to go digging up there to get up after his stuff?
2.07s(LAUGHS) Oh, my God!
2.17s(LAUGHS) I know. That was told to me in confidence.
1.8sNo. Don't you remember, Peter?
3.25sIt was on Thanksgiving that their son Kevin got killed in Iraq.