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2.37sNow, Brian, I know this is a bad time for you.
2.7sAnd If I have any advice to give you, it is this.
1.57sGrow a beard.
2.47sPeter, I wish you'd shave that thing. Beards are so ugly.
1.4sOh, Relax, Woolly Willy.
2.33sThere's lots of fun things you can do with that.
0.93sThere we go.
1.95sOn the charge of driving under the influence,
1.6sthis court finds you guilty.
2.57sYes! Good call. Churn the butter. Oo-woo! Oo-woo!
4.35sIn lieu of jail time, I sentence you to 100 hours of community service.
1.52sNext item.
3.89s"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here "to join these two in holy matrimony.
2s"If anyone objects to this union,
3.39s"speak now or forever hold your peace."
1.7sQuiet down! You had your chance!
2.4sSo, What do you have to do for your community service?
3.05sI got assigned to the Outreach to the Elderly program.
3.35sI gotta take care of some old woman who hasn't been out of her house in 30 years.
2.82sWhen I got caught at school with my hand down my pants,