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4.27sOh, We're so proud of you, Chris, for helping to put that horrible man in jail.
2.55sJeez, You couldn't have said it was Celine Dion. Huh?
3.07sO-Our one chance to put that showboating Canadian wench behind bars,
1.6sand you blow it.
2.32sWe now return to the E! True Hollywood Story.
3.2sB-by--By the 3rd season, I was completely wasted all the time.
3.24sI--i--I had lost all control of my bodily functions.
3.1sThey had to cut the crap out of my fur before each taping.
2.6sBut, uh, would I do it all again?
2.38sWe interrupt this program for a breaking news story.
6.44sWe now go live to the Rhode island State Penitentiary, where Asian reporter Trisha Takanawa is standing by. Trisha?
3.14sTom, I'm outside this maximum-security facility,
3.8sWhere a ruthless thug has engineered a daring escape.
1.57sSir, do you have any plans,
1.6snow that you're out of jail?
1.97sYeah. I'm gonna go bang my girlfriend,