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7.22sAlso in the news, the doomsday clock is ticking with less than 19 hours to go before our planet is consumed by an expanding black hole.
2.7sAs Americans everywhere face their last day on Earth,
2.47sone can only imagine how they're spending it.
1.95sHey, Mort. Now that the end of the world is here,
2.47sI just wanted to say no hard feelings, huh?
4.4s(ELECTRICITY SURGING) (GROANS) Psych! (LAUGHS) Embedded in the hand. Yeah, you see,
2.54sit fits in there 'cause there's a hole in it.
2.6sHave fun where you're going.
7.27sWell, it's become clear. The only way to avert this disaster is by writing a strongly-worded letter to the black hole.
4.14s"Dear Space. Well, you're just full of surprises, aren't you?
3.04s"You think you're so good 'cause you went to Choate.
4.7s"Well, you're not gonna be so tough "when I put a fish bowl on my head and a rocket pack on my back,
2.44s"and come up there and punch you."