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1.38sBut the world is ending.
3.17sWe should be spending these final hours with the people we love most.
2.24sLois, a day ago, I was stuck on jury duty.
2.57sToday, I have a golden ticket to do whatever the hell I want.
3.3sI feel like an old guy who's reliving his youthful shenanigans.
2.45sTell me about when you were young, Grandpa.
1.9sOh, Sonny, those were crazy times.
1.87sMy friends and I were out of control.
2.87sWe used to give each other wet willies and funny arms.
3.34sWe'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt.
1.3sSounds kind of gay, Grandpa.
2sIt was gay! Everyone was!
2.4sBut, back then, we were called "pole fancies."
1.5sIt was real good, old-fashioned,
2.94sgrab-the-nearest-tree
and-hold-on-for-dear-life gay,
2.84snot today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay.
1.53sPeople got hurt back then!
2sThat's gay. Yeah, it was pretty gay.
0.67s
2.59s
0.5s
1.57sWhat the hell are you doing with a musket?
5.1sLast day on Earth. I've always wanted to save a Native American family from rapacious cavalrymen.
0.52s
0.5s
1.1s(SCREAMING)
2.65s
0.72s(SCREAMS)