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4.44sYeah, that's right. You buy your kids ridiculously homoerotic dolls and then ask what happened?
2.7sYep. Your gay son is on you, buddy.
1.77sExplain that to your god.
2.2sOff to another day of jury duty, sweetie?
3.54sYeah, and it sucks. Even the vending machines are out of order.
1.22s(LAUGHS LIKE MUTTLEY)
1.57s
2.49sI don't want to go back to stupid jury duty.
2.1sThere's got to be some way I can get out of it.
2.03sThis is Tom Tucker with some breaking news.
6.27sNASA has made the alarming announcement that the newly discovered black hole at the edge of our solar system appears to be expanding.
5.67sNeptune and Pluto have already been consumed, and scientists estimate that the event horizon will reach Earth by tomorrow.
5sThat's right, Tom. Which means that all life on Earth will be destroyed within 24 hours.
1.65sOh, my God!
2.25sMom, is this for real?
2sWell, it sure looks that way, sweetie.
2.37sIt's the end of the world.
1.7sHoly crap.
0.83s(KNOCK ON DOOR)
2.57s
3.14sSeems like I've run out of waiting time.