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4.1sBoy, they've got some very unusual prizes at the carnival this year.
2.54sA winner! Congratulations, son.
2.5sYou've won a genuine, live homosexual.
2.2sWhere are we going? Wait! Don't tell me!
2.07sOh, boy! Mom, can I keep him?
2.3sWell, it's a big responsibility, Chris.
2.87sThat means you'll have to clean up after him and feed him.
2sWhat do you eat? Attention.
1.17sI like your hair.
1.1sStill hungry.
2.2sYou have a beautiful speaking voice.
1.6sI'm full.
3.37sLet's see, I guess 185 pounds.
1.3s
2.4sWrong. I'm 95% helium.
3.07s
1.33sBrian, look what I won.
1.17sWow, what'd you win that for?
1.92sFor having the best pig in the competition.
1.83s- Wait, you bred a pig?
- Sure did.
2.2sMost genetically perfect one in the contest.
1.03sOink.
1.03sOh, my God!
1.43sYes. He's something, isn't he?
1.07sAre those fists?
1.73sDamn right. Show him, pig.
0.92s
1.4sHow the hell did you do this?
1.63sI'll let you in on a little secret, Brian.
2.23sI didn't do it. I got it from a farm.