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1.77s
4.09sMy old roommates, the nerds. Ah. You working?
5.87sOh, my, yes. I'm on a secret project that I'm not at liberty to divulge. Cyborgs.
4.22sI invented a program that downloads porn off the Internet one million times faster.
2.57sDoes anybody need that much porno?
2.8sOh. One million times.
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3.25s
4.45sYeah. So because of me, all the dorms now have security phones.
1.98s
3.19sNow let's give a warm alumni welcome, uh, you know, clapping,
4.5sto Springfield U's all-American placekicker, Anton Lubchenko.
1.8s
5.9sIn home country, growing up in filth, Lubchenko dreams to play U.S.A. football.