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4.87s"The Secret Confessions of jebediah Springfield"?
4.5s"Know ye who read this, there is more to my life than history records."
3.4sFirstly, I did not tame the legendary buffalo.
2.23sIt was already tame. I merely shot it.
5.67sSecondly, I have not always been known as jebediah Springfield.
5.94sTill 1796 I was Hans Sprungfeld, murderous pirate.
3.5sAnd the half-wits of this town will never learn the truth.
3.67sHa, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
2.27s"Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!"