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2.43sI am not staring at you.
2.99sI am a cyborg photographer. Just act natural.
1.73sThis is a candid shot.
2.06sI don't require a camera so --
1.7sHi. I am not staring at you-,
1.7sUh, hi, everybody.
4.94sYou know, when I first met Birdperson, he was, uhh...
3sListen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe because I'm the smartest.
3.17sAnd being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets.
2.79sNow, I haven't been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage.
1.3sI couldn't make it work,
1.56sand I could turn a black hole into a sun,
7.14sso at a certain point, you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and notjust some big lie we're all telling ourselves because we're afraid to die alone?
2.8sBecause, you know, that's exactly how we all die -- alone.
0.97s- Oh, boy,
- Oh, Dad.
1.97sBut -- But... here's the thing.
1.9sBirdperson is my best friend,
2.73sand if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too.