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3.2sYou're a cinch to be the world's fattest man.
3.34sNo, I'm here for the greatest living actor.
2.02sI'm here to break a world record.
2.52sWhat's the longest anyone's ever done this?
2.75s
2.44s
0.45sThree years.
2.1sOh-- Pfft. Fine.
2.24sI'll just play the banjo with this cobra.
3.57s
0.43s
2.1sWait, wait, wait.
2.74sTechnically the cobra would get the record. He's the one playing.
0.53sBut it's my banjo.
3.17sMr. Simpson, there are thousands of people...
2.44slike you with no discernible talent.
0.4sYeah. They're called Congress.
2.4sShut up.
0.65sOkay.
1.27sAll the individual records...
2.47swere set by crackpots who half killed themselves.
2.08sThe only way someone new can get in the book...
1.93sis with some kind of group stunt.
3.39sGroup stunt? Like that town that made the world's largest omelet.