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4.34sBrian, thanks so much for doing this. Paul and I are so excited to see your act.
1.54sOh, thank... Wait. What?
1.63sPaul, my boyfriend.
1.03sPaul, this is Brian.
1.7sBoyfriend? Oh, come on!
1.6sI paid $800 for all this crap! You have a boyfriend?
1.7s
2.2sYeah. And I'm a great guy. I'm unemployed,
1.9sbut that makes her feel useful in the relationship.
1.13sI'm gonna fix him.
2sOur relationship will do fine on that basis.
1.77sIf he had his shit together, I wouldn't be into it.
1.77s
1.67sBut I don't. God! I am so sick of this crap!
1.2sIs this the show?
3.1sYou know what? The hell with both of you! I'm out of here!
4.17sAre we doing this thing or what? Brian? Brian?
2.17sWell, this was a lot of effort for nothing.
3.34sLike trying to tell Matthew McConaughey how much he sucks.
2.94sYou know, Matthew, I may not ever get another chance to say this,
2.9sso I just want to get this off my chest.
1.5sYou are just awful.
2.47sYou're one of the worst actors in the history of film,
3.07s(CHUCKLES) and I think that you need to go away.
1.47sOh, thanks, man.
2.87sThe truth is I spend at least 90% of my year going away,