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0.93sANNOUNCER ON PA: And they're off!
1.77sGo, horsey, go!
2.7sGod, it even runs like it's messed up in the head.
3.7sIs there a reason all the horses are named after canceled Fox shows?
1.33sANNOUNCER: Kitchen Confidential is in the lead,
1.97sfollowed by The Wedding Bells, followed by Happy Hour,
2.43sfollowed by The War at Home, followed by Drive, followed by The Winner,
2.77sfollowed by Life on a Stick, followed by The Loop, followed by Head Cases,
2.57sfollowed by Standoff, followed by Vanished, followed by Free Ride,
2.87sfollowed by Method & Red, followed by Tru Calling, followed by Quintuplets,
2.5sfollowed by Stacked, followed by Justice, followed by North Shore,
2sfollowed by Back to You. And bringing up the rear,
2.34sbut somehow still in the race, is 'til Death.
1.53sYou named your horse 'til Death?
1.67sYou know why?
3.04s'Cause I'm gonna take this horse and shove it down America's throat.
3.67sANNOUNCER: What's this? It looks like 'til Death has taken a right turn and is heading into the stands.
4.37s(THUDDING) (ALL GASPING) Dear God, I could describe the horror I am witnessing,
4.07sbut it is so unfathomably ugly and heartrending that I cannot bring myself to do so,