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2.3sMy ex-girlfriend. She calls me drunk every Valentine's Day.
1.87s(PHONE BEEPS) Hey, Samantha.
3.1sYeah, yeah, I'm sorry. I still love Lois.
2.17sOh, come on. You would have been a great mom.
1.87sShe had cervical cancer five years ago.
2.64sShe's basically a boob on a leg at this point.
1.13sWell, that's something.
1.37sYou're in a book club?
2.03sThose are tough to get into.
1.67sWhat?
2.37sWell, I didn't even know the Fine Young Cannibals were still together.
1.7sEight-city tour?
2.9sWell, I don't know if I can make eight, but I can certainly do six.
1.47sWhat about Lois?
2.44sShe's totally out of the picture. We've done everything but sign the papers.
2.5sSamantha, Samantha, I will see you in Binghamton.
7.21sAnd now I want you to go and take a picture of yourself because it will be your last day alone. (PHONE BEEPS) Geez, what's not clear about, "Get lost"?
3.47sBy the way, my attendance at home is gonna be spotty over the next few weeks.
0.6s
2.14s
3.45sAnd, well, prize pumpkin from the county fair,
3.77sthat's why I'm naming you my Chief of Police.