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5.94sAnd what really bothers me is you pretend you're this deep guy who loves women for their souls when all you do is date bimbos.
1.45sYeah. I date women for their bodies,
1.43sbut at least I'm honest about it.
7.02sI don't buy them a copy of Catcher in the Rye and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation of how Holden Caulfield was some profound intellectual.
1.97sHe wasn't! He was a spoiled brat.
1.17sAnd that's why you like him so much.
2.15sHe's you. God, you're pretentious!
2.13sAnd you delude yourself by thinking you're some great writer,
1.65seven though you're terrible.
1.77sYou know, I should have known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note.
1.97sShe would have known there's no "A" in the word "definite."
3.47sAnd I think what I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda.
1.93sHow we should "legalize pot, man."
1.8sHow big business is crushing the underclass.
2.3sHow homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America.
1.37sWell, what have you done to help?
2.75sI work down at the soup kitchen, Brian. Never seen you down there.
1.63sYou want to help? Grab a ladle!
3.05sAnd by the way, driving a Prius doesn't make you Jesus Christ.
2.87sWait! You don't believe in Jesus Christ or any religion, for that matter,
1.6sbecause religion is for idiots!
1.9sWell, who the hell are you to talk down to anyone?
1.4sYou failed college twice,
2.23swhich isn't nearly as bad as your failure as a father.
1.5sHow's that son of yours you never see?