Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.
2.27sANNOUNCER: We now return to Laguna Beach.
0.47sLike, right?
0.77sI know.
2.13sWhatever, because, d'uh! I know, right?
2.37sWhatever, because, I mean, like, totally full-out.
1.4s- Full-on.
- Right?
2.57sI guess it's not easy growing up anywhere.
1.97sHey, Dad! Check out my abstinence ring.
2sIt means I made a pledge not to have sex.
1.67sThat's crazy! You can't give up sex.
1.47sYou've got a responsibility.
2.74sYou see, Meg. You're what they call a practice girl.
2.87sDad, look at the facts about sex.
7.54s"If you have sex, your penis will fall off and land in another dimension "populated entirely by dogs who will eat it."
2.17sWell, that's something I'd like to avoid.
0.97sWell, this changes everything.
2.3sFrom now on, I, too, will be abstinent.
3.64sI'll be as untouched as the turn signal in an Asian woman's car.
2.57sHow much signal I need to cut across eight lane?
1.8sNone? I turn now.
1.8sGood luck, everybody else.
1.93s(TIRES SCREECHING)
2.17s
1.57s
3.57sAll right, getting a tooth to lure that damn fairy back shouldn't be too difficult.
0.67s
1.77s(SNORING)