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4.84sActually, I won't be a standup comic, I'll be more like an amorphous-blob comic.
1.49sI gotta write that one down!
3.46sNonsense! I'll have the studio send a flatbed for you! See you at 8:00!
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1.83s
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2.83sThere's something I've been wanting to say to you all evening.
2.43sWhat's that, Mrs. Catherine Zeta-Jones-Douglas?
2.06sI want to jump your non-bones.
1.93sJeez! I can't believe I'm your type.
4.16sAs you can tell from my husband, I've got a thing for saggy, shapeless men.
3.56sI'm married to Catherine Zeta-Jones. Will you sleep with me?
1.37sYeah, I'm gonna have to pass.
2.76sBut Louie Anderson's eating the soap in the bathroom.
1.33sWhy don't you try him?
1.51s
2.73sExcuse me. Aren't you Peter, the human stunt bag?
1.47sThat depends on who's asking.
2.43sI'm a doctor, conducting an experimental procedure...
1.37s...to give bones to a jellyfish.
2.13sI'd like to try it on a human first. Interested?
2.09s" don't know.
Interested?