Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.
3.89sIf anyone has to go to the bathroom, go. I don't want you walking around during my story.
2.15sMy story's better. It has tigers.
3.24sI was born into wretched poverty.
2.22sSo one day I stole a loaf of bread,
3.54sput it in the freezer until it was very hard, then robbed a bank with it.
1.52s
0.53s
1.31s
4.42sAnd when Mr. Dinkley saw what I had done,
3.02sI was banned from the car wash forever.
1.93sForever? How awful!
2.2sI would have killed Dinkley for that.
5.04sAs you can see, we're a contemptible lot of cads, bounders and tiger stabbers.
2.63sCome, stranger. join our circle of infamy.
3.85sTell us your story of ennui.
4.24sWell, back on land my name was Homer Simpson.
2.57sAnd I guess it is here too.
1.94sI promised my dad one of my kidneys,
3.2sbut I chickened out at the last minute and left him on his deathbed.
0.65sGood Lord!
2.12sOh, how could you!
0.45sI think I'm going to be sick.
4.12sI stole this accordion from a blind monkey.