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1.87sit's time for my one-man show,
3.24sWinston Churchill, We Hardly Knew Ye.
4.1sOk, Act 1. "I'm Winston Churchill. Ooh.
1.38s"Would you like some tea?
2.54s"I would, because I'm Winston Churchill.
1.5s"Would you like a crumpet?
2.7s"I would, because I'm Winston Churchill.
1.5s"Would you like to wear knickers?
1.4s"I would, because I'M WiN--"
1.38sMy wife is very ill!
1.17sYes, do you mind?
2.47sI paid $380 for this flight.
3.17s$380? Jeez, I hope they kissed you first.
1.28sThis is my 4th trip today.
1.94sJust this morning, I went to Kentucky.
1.47sWaiT--wait-wait. Wait a second.
4.04sYou're telling me I flew all the way to Kentucky to get some of your fried chicken,
2.28sand--and the Colonel isn't even working today?
1.83sHe ain't real. He dead.
0.93sI say he dead.
1.7sIs Mr. Sanders in?
2.55sWhat wrong with you? I say you he dead!
3.54sMy wife is a stewardess, so I can fly anywhere I want and I don't pay jack!