Create a Clip

Use the timeline below to select up to 20 seconds to watch or share.

3.5sA guy's on his boat, in the middle of the ocean and he sees a little black dog.
1.97sLet me tell ya, This dog's been swimming for days,
1.63sand he stinks like a dead otter.
1.93sPeter, maybe this isn't the place--
1.32sH-h-Hang on, Lois.
2.27sSo the guy take the dog into the vet.
1.53sThe freakin' vet tells him,
2.28sget this, "It's not a dog. It's a rat."
2.67sA big, stinking Mexican rat. True story.
1.12s
1.6sDad, that's just an urban legend.
3.02sHand to God. I'm telling you, it was a huge freakin' rat.
1.9s5 times as big as that guy's steak.
3.69sPeter, that rat gets bigger every time you tell this story.
1.33sOh, I got a million of them.
2.17sLike this, like uh, my buddy's sister's boss,
2.15she was, uh, drinking with a hooker in this Vegas bar.
0.93s
0.98sBam! Woke up without his kidney.
0.43s
0.63s
1.04s
2.54sI can't believe they kicked me out of the yacht club.
2.52sI barely had time to stuff Lois' salmon in my jacket.
2.95sFace it, Peter. You have a knack for saying the wrong thing.
1.53sThis sucks.
4.94sLois' friend "yacht boy" and his lovely wife Caca invited us to some hoity-toity auction tomorrow afternoon.
1.83sI don't want to embarrass her again.
Index