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3.24sWho the hell am I kidding? I don't deserve to be a pilot.
1.53sI've let everybody down.
2.07s- Did you do the best you could?
- No.
3sI was gonna, but I ended up getting laid instead.
2.6sThat reminds me of a guy you might have heard of,
4sJohn Holmes, the greatest porn star who ever lived.
1.53sYou know what he once said?
3.17sHe said, "You know, I've got a 13-inch penis,
4s"and Glenn Quagmire is the best damn pilot I've ever seen."
1.97sJohn Holmes said that?
7.27sYou bet he did, right before he died a very painful AIDS-related death from having unprotected sex with so many people.
1.27s
4.7sExcuse me, Hef, I got a plane to land.
0.5s(NOTRE DAME VICTORY MARCH
1.64sPLAYING)