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2.2sProbably. I'm trying to watch the Super Bowl.
2.64sIf people don't support this thing, it might not make it.
2.6sJoe Willie Namath swaggering off the field,
4.49shis sideburns an apogee of sculpted "sartorium"--
2.99sthe foppish follicles pioneered by Ambrose Burnside,
2.67sAppomattox, 1865.
3.24sHis wild, untamed facial hair...
3.8srevealed a new world of rebellion, of change--
3.37sa world where doors were open for women like me.
1.94sBut Abe was stuck in his button-down...
2.5sPlastic Fantastic Madison Avenue scene.
3.05sLook at them sideburns! He looks like a girl.
3.87sNow, johnny Unitas-- there's a haircut you could set your watch to.
4.05sSo, Mother Simpson, where did your newfound sense of irresponsibility take you?