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4.49shis sideburns an apogee of sculpted "sartorium"--
2.99sthe foppish follicles pioneered by Ambrose Burnside,
2.67sAppomattox, 1865.
2.74s
0.6s
1.39s
3.24sHis wild, untamed facial hair...
3.8srevealed a new world of rebellion, of change--
3.37sa world where doors were open for women like me.
1.94sBut Abe was stuck in his button-down...
2.5sPlastic Fantastic Madison Avenue scene.
3.05sLook at them sideburns! He looks like a girl.
3.87sNow, johnny Unitas-- there's a haircut you could set your watch to.
4.05sSo, Mother Simpson, where did your newfound sense of irresponsibility take you?