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2.27sYou may have heard that my husband left me.
1.73sOh, I'm so depressed.
3sI mean, it can't always be my fault, right? Uh-huh.
4.64sYou know, at first I thought what I needed was the immediate loving, physical touch of a new man.
1.37sYeah.
1.4sBut now I know what I really need is a friend Mmm-hmm.
2.45sto just sit and listen to my problems. Uh-huh.
1.73s- I don't think that's too much to ask.
- No.
4.1sI mean, how come men always feel like they can just use a woman?
1.2sYou know? Yeah.
1.17sI mean, we have feelings.
1.13sWe're people. Right.
2.5sIt's like they all have the same mindset.
2.6sIt's all about sex, sex, sex. Yeah.
3.49sAnd there's so much more to life than that.
1.12sTwenty feet that way, please.
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2.43sOh, it's so great to see you kids.
2.8sHere, I brought you all gifts from Texas.
2.95sMeg, this is a bar of soap with a scorpion in it.
3.27sStewie, this is a lollipop with a desert spider in it.
3.85sAnd, Chris, this is a comb made out of an armadillo shell.
4.6sNow, just don't use it to comb your hair and make promises to women you won't keep.