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3.72sFirst, the award for the alumnus who's gained the most weight--
2.23sHomer Simpson! Oh, my God!
1.75sHow'd you do it, Homer?
3.04sI discovered a meal between breakfast and brunch.
0.98s
2.79sAnd now the award for most improved odor--
2.19s- Homer Simpson.
- Yes!
1.75s
3sAnd the person who traveled the least distance to be here--
2.67sWell, kiss my grits!
0.47sHomer Simpson!
1.8s
0.47s
1.27sWhat can I say?
2.94sIt hasn't been easy staying in my rut.
3.6sClass of '74, I was just leafing through your permanent records...
2.14swhen I discovered something shocking.
0.47sHomer Simpson never passed Remedial Science 1-a,
2.29s
2.44sand thus never graduated from high school.
0.48s
2.89sI'm sorry, Simpson. I have to take back those awards.