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1.83sit'll come rushing out to change the channel.
3.54sAnd when he does, I'll grab his hand and yank him out of there.
2.27sPeter, I don't think... Shh. It's starting.
3.3sANNOUNCER: Two and a Half Men was filmed in front of a live ostrich.
1.4sBoy, this stinks.
1.74sIt's Friday night and I don't have a date.
3.1sWell, then, let me get you a number from my little black book.
1.27s
5.1s(CHORTLES) All right, that didn't work, so it's time for Plan B.
3.1sGuys, let's go down to The Clam and drink beer and watch sports.
1sDefinitely. All right.
1.2sYou in, Joe?
2.53sYes, awesome! That would be splendid.
1.77sYeah, this isn't working out. All right, sorry,
1.94swe'll pay you for the full day, but you can go home.
3.24sDamn right, you're paying for the full day!
1.97sGuys, Bonnie's going into labor!
1.77sWe gotta get her to the hospital.
1.37sQuick, Peter, get the car!
2.77sNo way, I don't want a pregnant mess in my backseat.
4.8sOh, come on. You're the guy who soiled his pants while test-driving that sports car.
2.6s(TIRES SCREECH) I don't want it.
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