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3.92sIf you could just get somebody to pay you for scratching your butt, we'll be on easy street.
2.5sWhy, you little--
0.58s
0.74s
2.69sWow! My first published article!
2.94sAlthough someone else's name is on it.
4.54sHeh-heh. Welcome to the humiliating world of professional writing.
1.9sBut this is only the beginning.
0.73s
1.95s
2.3s
2.3sWelcome to Planet Springfield,
2.87sthe restaurant owned by me, Chuck Norris,
4.07sjohnny Carson's third wife and the Russian mafia.
4.72sEach Planet Springfield is filled with priceless Hollywood gewgaws.
2.9sThere's the coffee mug from Heartbeeps!
3.05sAnd there's the cane from Citizen Kane!
1.07s
1.93sWait a minute.
1.93sThere was no cane in Citizen Kane.
2.8sAnd there's that awful script from The Cable Guy.
2.47sLemme see. Stupid script!