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2.62sIf he's so smart, how come he's dead?
1.95sOver the years, the Shopper merged...
4.42swith the Springfield Times, Post, Globe, Herald, jewish News and Hot Sex Weekly...
2.64sto become Springfield's number-one newspaper.
0.6s
1.27s
2.54sWow, a bustling metropolitan newsroom...
2.45sfunneling scoops from all over the globe.
2.93sHi! Are you interested in a subscription to the Shopper?
2.07sLow introductory rates!
4.04sNo, you gotta help ol' Gil. What's it gonna take to keep you on the phone?
2.94sDance for ya? But you wouldn't even see it. YOu--
2.2sAll right. I'm dancin'!
2.8s
2.47sAnd this is our comic strip department.
2sWho here reads Mary Worth?
1.1s
1.99sLet's move on.
2.14s
4.44sThis is where we store Ann Landers and Dear Abby for their 23 hours of daily sleep.
3.85sMy advice is to free us or let us die!
3.79sCheck it out, Dad. You can print out the headline from the day you were born.