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2.57sUm, I hear there's one on vacuuming.
2.3sReally? Well, that sounds interesting.
2.57sWait a minute. You can't fool me that easily.
3sYou are not watching the Emmys tonight. Now shush.
2.7sExcuse me. I got to go do some black guy stuff.
4.14s(WHINES) Man, this sucks worse than my 16th birthday party.
2.84sThanks for coming to my birthday party, Jake Ryan.
3.4sThanks for having me at your birthday party, Peter. Make a wish.
2sIt's already come true.
2.33sHere's your present.
2.03sNo, Jake! Not like this!
6.91sOur top story, beloved entertainer Bob Hope briefly came back to life today only to die in a tragic motorcycle accident.
2.07sHey, I'm gonna jump all those trash cans.
8.57sIn other news, actor David Hyde Pierce created a major controversy at the Emmys last night when a trouser malfunction caused him to expose his testicles.