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4.02sNow, normally, the birth of Siamese twins is a joyous occasion,
5sbut unfortunately, one of them was... pure evil.
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3.92sI think I'll bottle-feed that one.
3.17sA routine soul smear confirmed the presence of pure evil.
4.25sIt was then I knew the only option was to separate you two immediately.
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3.42sYou'll both need to sign these.
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2.07sBut what to do with poor Hugo?
4.25sToo crazy for Boys Town, too much of a boy for Crazy Town.
2.07sThe child was an outcast.
2.15sSo we did the only humane thing.
2.4sWe chained Hugo up in the attic like an animal,
2.44sand fed him a bucket of fish heads once a week.
2.2sIt saved our marriage.
1.25sYou expect me to believe all this?
3.97sIf any of it was true, wouldn't I have a big, hideous scar--