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1.97sand uplifting as I tried to be.
3.2sActually, it's a hemorrhoid infomercial starring Claude Akins.
2.15sCan I play "Hemorrhoid Sufferer Number One"?
5.49sOoh! Oh, that hurts! Aah! Oh, is there no relief? I don't think so.
2.22sWell, how about one of the "after" guys?
2.57sAhh! Oh, that's better.
2.37s- I can ride a bike again! - Sorry.
2.22sWhen Springfield legalized gambling,
2.12sHomer became a blackjack dealer,
3.04sand comedy was "in the cards."
3.07sTwenty. Your move, Mr. Bond.
2.1sI'll take a hit, dealer.
2.7sjoker. You were supposed to take those out of the deck.
1.92sOh, sorry. Here's another one.
1.58sWhat is this card?
2.35s"Rules for Draw and Stud Poker?"
1.38sWhat a pity, Mr. Bond.
3.5sBut-- Well, it was Homer's fault. I didn't lose. I never lose.
3.44sWell, at least tell me the details of your plot for world domination.
2.74sI'm not going to fall for that one again.