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2.64s(EXAGGERATED INDIAN ACCENT) Oh, my golly, there is much commotion.
1.58sThank you, Tricia. After the interval,
2.9sfind out which 12 football teams tied tonight.
3.15sThe Queen's coming to Billingsbury? That's bloody sweet!
2.54sYou know, I'm actually a relation of the Royal Family.
1.67sYou most certainly are not.
1.74sWhere would you get that idea?
1.9sMe mum used to claim she was a Windsor.
2.94sAnd I always heard me nana talk about how she took a duke.
1.6sMust've been a difficult marriage, too,
3.1s'cause every afternoon she'd be bellyaching about her bloody duke.
2.17sI think you just had a gross grandmother.
1.45sNo, I'm quite sure of it.
4.22sAnd to prove it, I'm gonna nick one of the Queen's hairs during her visit tomorrow.
3.04sAnd when the DNA proves a match, you'll see I'm royalty.
3.54sThe Queen, eh? I'd like to mash my banger in her blood pudding.
1.28sGoogity. Googity. Glop.