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3.85s(SLURRING) We interrupt this program because I have had kind of a crap day,
2.44sand I know all the station passwords to do it.
3.15sSo, smell that finger, Quahog!
2.54sOoh, a drunk news report from Tom Tucker.
2.4sWe haven't had one of those since they canceled Passions.
1.73sThis should be good.
5.77sOkay, our top story tonight, a local car dealer has announced a "Hands on a Hard Body" promotion,
7.04sin which a used dirt bike will be awarded to the one customer who can successfully outlast his competitors.
3.92sAnd in other news, they're bringing back Passions!
1.53sYes, they are!
2.83sHoly crap! A dirt bike! That's awesome!
1.7sLois, I'm gonna win that thing.
2.94sPeter, why would you want a used dirt bike when you already have a car?
4.1sBecause this is 1978, Lois, and dirt bikes have never been hotter.
1.37sBesides, I get one of those things,
1.33sit's gonna be a buffet of beave.
2.47sI don't know, seems stupid to me.