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2.03sI wouldn't do that, Reverend.
5.02sYou see, "Saint Flanders" is as crooked as you or me.
1.58s
1.93sThat's right.
3.64sIt's my sad duty to rat out this man for defrauding a car wash.
4.7sHow, you ask? With a phony senior-discount card.
0.48s
2.12sWell, that's not quite true.
3.84sDid you or did you not use a senior citizen discount card at said car wash?
3.9sWell, I did, but-- Now, I'm not a fancy, big-city lawyer--
0.68s
2.55sBut it seems to me that a senior citizen...
2.29shas to be over 55.
1.53sIsn't that so?
0.27sWell, yes.
2.52sAnd you are how old?
3.84sI suppose, if you must know, I'm-- Well, I'm-- I'm 60.
3.42sGod, he looks so good. He looks unbelievable.
3.64sWhat's your secret, Flanders? Goat placenta? Monkey sweat?
3.35sSome kind of electric hat? Holy water? It's holy water, right?
1.93sAah! It burns!
2.92sListen, folks. There's no magic formula.