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3.84s(DOORBELL RINGS) Peter, what brings you here?
3.77sHey, there's a new policy at work where everyone has to prove they're an American,
1.77sand I need my birth certificate.
3.34sOh, dear. Peter, sit down.
1.43sI don't know how to tell you this,
2.1sbut you weren't born in America.
1.83sYou were born in Mexico.
3.1sWhen I found out that your real father was a drunken Irishman,
3.64sI went to Mexico to terminate my pregnancy.
3.77sBut God had other plans, and you were born right there.
3.44sYou were so beautiful, and I loved you,
7.61sbut when I got back home, I was so afraid of being judged by the community that I never filled out the paperwork to make you a citizen.
2.53sMom, what are you saying?
3.37sPeter, as far as the US government is concerned,
2.84syou're an illegal Mexican immigrant.