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0.97sHi, Mom.
3.77sHey, there's a new policy at work where everyone has to prove they're an American,
1.77sand I need my birth certificate.
0.9s
3.34sOh, dear. Peter, sit down.
1.14s
1.43sI don't know how to tell you this,
2.1sbut you weren't born in America.
1.83sYou were born in Mexico.
1.43sWhat?
3.1sWhen I found out that your real father was a drunken Irishman,
3.64sI went to Mexico to terminate my pregnancy.
3.77sBut God had other plans, and you were born right there.
4.54s
3.44sYou were so beautiful, and I loved you,
7.61sbut when I got back home, I was so afraid of being judged by the community that I never filled out the paperwork to make you a citizen.
2.53sMom, what are you saying?
3.37sPeter, as far as the US government is concerned,
2.84syou're an illegal Mexican immigrant.
1.33sHoly crap!
3.07s(LAUGHING) Looks like I've got myself in a bind!
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