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1.23sAnd I love weed.
4.9sMy name is Carlos. And beneath my tough exterior is a boy aching to learn.
1.76sAnd beneath that is a rapist.
2.76sMy name is Amanda. And my water just broke.
0.63sOh, my God!
1.49sYo, it's my turn to deliver.
3.2sCan I have this one? My mom keeps giving mine away.
2.05s
0.53s
3.73sDad, I need some advice. I need to know how to get a girl to like me.
2.33sChris, buddy, there's a million ways to do that.
2.2sYou just got to do something simple, like Vincent van Gogh.
2.53sIt's.... What is this?
1.87sIt's my ear. Do you like it?
0.57s
1.09sYou don't like it.
3.2sNo, I like it. But it's just.... Why your ear?
1.13sBecause I love you.
3.16sWell, at least this will be a funny story to tell our kids someday.
3.06sYou want kids? Oh, yikes.
1.51s
2.7sI wish you'd told me that before I got you this.
0.78s
3.66sDid I hear my big boy say he's got a crush on some lucky girl?
3.4sYou know, Chris, I knew this day would come. So, I brought you a condom.
2.16sUse it wisely, though. It wasn't easy to obtain.