1.88sGood evening. I am Kent Brockman.
2.95sOur top story-- Punks, and lots of 'em.
2.55sAnd all to raise money for the Springfield Fire Department...
3.19sto buy a fire engine so they can get to fires.
3.17sLazy bums. Yeah. Why don't we buy 'em mink stoles while we're at it?
2.4sYeah. Good one.
4.62sAnd now let's hear it for our celebrity auctioneer-- Krusty!