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3.77sdirectly to Santa at his death fortress on Neptune.
3.12sThese letters are real butt nutters. Listen to this one.
3.61sPlease, please don't bring me any gifts.
3.04sThe bicycle you fired at me last year from your bicycle gun...
2.3sreally tore up my insides.
3.55sAwful. Let's read some more. "Dear Santa--"
2.37sPlease bring me a coffin for Grandpa.
2.43sYou choked him with a chestnut last year,
4.14sand he's beginning to smell a lot like Xmas, if you know what I mean.
1.95sIt's not fair!
2.97sIn my day, Xmas was supposed to bring people together, not blow them apart.
2.5sSure, but who's gonna do anything about it?
3.94sCertainly not us. No, sir. Certainly yes us. Uh-huh, sir.