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1.15s
1.92sOh, my God.
1.75sJoe, did you get any Christmas presents?
1.33sNo! QUAGMIRE: Me, neither!
2.47sI got eight mediocre things.
1.89sGood morning, Quahog. Our top story today,
2.12sSanta Claus skips Christmas.
6.61sHopeful citizens worldwide woke up to disappointment this morning when they discovered no gifts from Santa under their Christmas trees.
3.64sLocal officials are going with the theory that everyone was bad this year.
2sThe investigation continues into this mysterious...
3sWait! I know what happened to Christmas!
1.07sBrian?
1.5s
4.5s
2.97s(BOTH GASP) Santa Claus!
2.29sThat's right. It's Santa Claus.
1.83sAnd you've got to listen to me.
6.36sThe reason there was no Christmas this year is that this man is sick, very sick. And he needs our help.
3.59sHe's been bludgeoned by years of greed and avarice.
3.45sThe workload of filling our Christmas lists has overwhelmed him.
2.9sAnd at the rate he's going, he may not make it another year.