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2.25sWelcome to the Lazy I Ranch,
3.17swhere we give you a week of rustic ranch living.
1.58sDo you have an Internet connection?
3sInternet?
3.07sSon, the only Internet connection we got...
3.44sis a dedicated D.S.L. port in the business center.
2.92sOr you could patch in through the smart fridge in your cabin.
2.1sHmm. If said fridge is truly smart,
3.5sit will be filled with Hot Pockets and bologna by the time I get there.
1.67sGood-bye.
4.8s"On this battleground in 1881, 56 Indians lost their lives...
2.59sand four brave Americans lost their hats."
3.57sThose poor hats.
1.63sThis whole ranch is appalling.
2.17sIt's built on a legacy of cruelty to animals...
2.7sand oppression of indigenous people.
2.52sJust our way of making y'all feel welcome.
3.5sYou're not listening. I never do. Yee-haw!
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