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2.47s
2.82s
3.04sNow, as I said before, I can't make you into studs.
2.67sI can only help you bring out your "inner stud."
1.77sBut there's a lot of potential here.
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1.23s
2.77sNow how many of you guys think a woman is looking for Prince Charming?
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0.83s
2.14sWrong! They're looking for bastards like me!
5.14s(MURMURING) Mort, how many times you been laid since your wife died?
1.22sDo Muriel's clothes count?
1.38sNo!
2.67sYou wanna know how many times I've been laid since last night? 60!
3.02sWhy? 'Cause I'm not trying to be a girl's Prince Charming.
3.27sI'm trying to be that big mistake they made at the bar last night.
2.35sLook, what's the first thing you say to a woman when you meet her?
2.7s"Pleased to meet you. That's a handsome scarf pin."
1.53sNo! You say, "Hi, there!
1.64s"How's your relationship with your father?"
2.63sIf she says anything positive, move along.
1.52sHey. Sorry I'm late.
1.58sBrian! What are you doing here?
1sI'm in your class.
1.03sWhat? No way!
1.38sI don't want you in here!
1.33sToo bad. Here's my class receipt.
1.32sNow teach me how to find love.