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2.17sYou should try a video dating service, Peter.
1.62sThat's how Muriel and I met.
3.07sLet me show you Mort's tape. He was so charming.
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2.04sAh! Oh, my eyes!
2.47sCould you please turn down that very bright light?
1.57sIt's burning my retinas.
1.03sOh!
2.1sLadies, I'm a very desperate man.
2.5sMy name is Mort and I live with my mother.
1.97sAnd I have very low standards.
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2.3sOh, God! There's blood in my mucus!
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1.75sAh! What the hell is wrong with you?
1.07sugh!
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2.64sHey, there's the mail! Oh, Finally.
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2.87sAll right, It says it takes an hour for this solvent to take effect.
2.07sWell, Let's see. What takes an hour?
2.94sWe could watch Rita Rudner do 5 minutes of stand-up.