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2.82sGreetings, friend.
1.7sDo you wish to look as happy as me?
3.2sWell, you've got the power inside you right now.
3.55sSo use it, and send one dollar to Happy Dude!
2.17s742 Evergreen Terrace, Springfield.
3.87sDon't delay. Eternal happiness is just a dollar away.
1.2s
4.3sHmm. One dollar for eternal happiness.
3.24sMmm, I'd be happier with the dollar.
2.59sNow we just sit by the mailbox...
1.93sand watch the money roll in.
1.93sBut you're going to annoy thousands of people...
2.14sjust to make a few measly dollars.
1.94sIt's nothing but panhandling.
2.2sTele-panhandling.
2.13sAnd should there be a request for an encore,
3.09swe will reprise "Pop Goes the Weasel."
2.54sOtherwise, we will file out quietly.