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3.57sThen he's walking home and along the way he notices a grasshopper on the ground.
3.37sSo he says to the grasshopper, "Hey, you know there's a drink named after you?"
2.7sThe grasshopper says, "You mean, there's a drink named Irving?"
4.41s
1.9sSo, which one of you wants to lose your virginity?
0.8s
1.57sMom, this party sucks.
4sI mean, balloons? Pin the Tail on the Donkey? I'm not five years old.
3.07sMeg, your father worked very hard to put this party together.
2.23sAnd he says he's got a big surprise for you.
3.94sHey, kids, I'm Pee-Pants, the inebriated hobo clown.
4.4sI'm an adorable tramp who wears found clothing and eats out of your garbage can.
3.07sA clown? Dad, I'm 17.
2.74sMeg, guess what Pee-Pants got you for your birthday?
2.47sA scarf. I don't want a scarf, Dad.
3.27sWell, then, how about a dozen scarves?