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2.8sAnd I'd be on DiCaprio's yacht, banging Kristen Stewart.
2.33sYou thought about getting an abortion?
1.43sEveryone thinks about it,
1.93sObviously, I'm the version of me that didn't do it,
2.99sso you're welcome. Yeah, you're welcome.
1.59sYeah, thank you guys so much.
5.1sIt's a real treat to be raised by parents that forced themselves to be together instead of being happy.
2.09sHey, do we have any wafer cookies?
1.23sMmm!
1.13sOh, boy,
3.26sLooks like you guys have been checking out alternate lives and realizing you don't have it as good, huh?
1.16sThat's too bad.
1.59sYou know, me and Marty are having a blast.
1.59sWe just discovered a show called "Ball Fondlers."
1.9sI mean, I don't want to rub it in or anything,
2.9sbut you guys clearly backed the wrong conceptual horse.
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2.43s- I'm in heaven right now. - The best day of my life.
1.7sSo, now what do we do?
2.06sThat show "Ball Fondlers" sounded kind of interesting.
1.59s- Dad! - What?!
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