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3.25sexcept I can't get these damn bumper stickers off.
6.52sThe sheer drama of this election has driven voter turnout to its highest level in centuries-- six percent.
5.67sExit polls show evil underdog Richard Nixon trailing with an estimated zero votes.
2.09sYes! The system works.
3.69sThe time is 7:59 and the robot polls are now opening...
1.6sand the robot vote is in.
1.47sNixon has won!
0.26soh, no! Get out of town!
1.31sOoh...
3.72sWhy would robots vote for Nixon now that he's just a head in a jar?
1.41s
3.94sI give you the next president of Earth!
1.27s
1.4s
1.85sNixon's back!
2.3s
3.67sI can't believe it. He won by a single vote.
1.53sWell, it ain't my fault.
1.89sI'm a non-voting felon, thank you.
2.74sWell, it's not my fault, either, 'cause I forgot to vote.
3.65sOh, crud, I knew there was something I meant to do today.