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2.97sBut first, let's have a look around.
5.4sThis is our control room, where we have the ability to monitor up to 500 different news stories in any given hour.
1.17sWhat's that big button do?
1.3sOh, that's kind of fun.
1.57sIt emits a noise that only Al Gore can hear.
1.74s
1.56s
1.27sThere it is again!
1.6sTIPPER: It's probably just wind, honey.
1.94sIt's not the wind!
2.57sAnd this is our Fox News daycare center.
1.4sWhere are all the kids?
4.2sSorry, a lot of the children aren't here today because their parents have the day off for Martin Luther King day.
1.4sIsn't that in January?
2.23sOh, no, at Fox News, we celebrate the day he was shot.
0.79s
1.44sAnd this is the kitchen.
2.07sWe've got all kinds of snacks and cold drinks in here.
1.3sI don't see the refrigerator.
2.47sOh, we just use Ann Coulter's vagina.
1.34s
1.13sHmm...
0.9sThere's never anything good in here.
1.68s
2.63s
2.9sAll right, here we go. "Handiquacks, episode one, scene one."
1.57sLet's get them laughing right off the bat.